


You Can Just Call Me, Five

by The_Unique_Story_Spinner



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Budding Love, Confessions, Crushes, Developing Relationship, Eventual Non-Sexual and Sexual Intimacy, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Male-Female Friendship, Meaningful Relationship, Romantic Friendship, complicated relationship, deep discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:16:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27641975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unique_Story_Spinner/pseuds/The_Unique_Story_Spinner
Summary: This idea just came to mind and I thought it was cute AF.You're just a nobody working at The Commission's building as a glorified filing cabinet and you're friends with a pretty cool old dude.
Relationships: Five Hargreeves x Female Reader, Five Hargreeves/Female Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	You Can Just Call Me, Five

You were in the backroom putting away files and polishing tubes absolutely dying from boredom. You were basically a glorified receptionist that mostly cleaned around the place. It wasn't such a bad job but there were days it was boring as shit. Well, at least it paid well. “I cannot believe I have been here for almost three years... The hell did I even do before this place? Thank God, they didn't pick me for an assassin. I could not even.” You chuckled to yourself as you put some files away into a metal drawer. You felt a soft smile creep across your lips as you remembered your new friend. He was a nervous old guy but he seemed pretty cool. How you two became friends you weren't entirely sure but you trusted either other enough to actually have real conversations with one another and after months of that BOOM every day you met over a cup of coffee. You almost felt you could even go as far as to say he was your best friend. You never imagined yourself being friends with an older man before but here you were.  
  
“Ya getting bored yet, Y/N?” Ah, there he is. Your smile widened as his voice warmed your heart.  
  
“Always, Old Man.” You slammed the drawer shut and leaned against it. “How much money do you think this place goes through just by buying brass polish?” You rolled your eyes with a smile. “How ya been, Old Timer?”  
  
“Always with the old jokes...” His white mustached lips turned into a fake frown as he rolled his eyes.  
  
“Always. I mean, you are old, dude.” You just grinned as you picked up a box of files and set it on one of the tables. “But, really though, how ya been? You have any of those nightmares again?” Your expression softened. You heard him yell out from his room last night.  
  
The older man stiffened and his gaze drifted away from you. “You heard...?”  
  
“I live like, two rooms away from you, so...yeah...” Your expression was sympathetic as you walked over to him and set a kind hand on his shoulder. Only you could get this close to him. No one else. “You can talk to me. You know that right?” He just awkwardly coughed and straightened up. It could be hard to get him to open up about what he was feeling sometimes and you never pressed either. Usually, when he did feel like talking he would just randomly start spilling over coffee on down days. That's why you were one of the few people that actually knew what he went through with the apocalypse and his family, but there was just this one thing that you only knew that no one else did, and you hadn't told a single soul. You gave him a warm smile and flicked the tip of his hat. “It'll be over soon, Old Man, you'll figure it out soon enough.”  
  
He let out a short laugh. “So, you about ready to go? I found a cute little cafe where I'm headed. Normally, we can't take people with us, but I figured after I'm done... I can take you.” Suddenly, he looked nervous again and maybe even a little bit flustered.  
  
You raised a brow and crossed your arms standing before him. “You asking me out on a date, Old Man? I never would have thought you a pervert.” You snickered.  
  
His eyes went wide and he exhaled sharply. “I just thought it would be nice to have a decent cup of coffee with a friend outside that dingy break-room.” Yeah, he seemed flustered and it just made you smile.  
  
“Uh, huh~” You smiled. “You do know I'm like half your age, right?” You chuckled. “But yeah, I'll tag along. I am quite hungry actually. I have been stuck in here for hours.” You sighed as you put another box up onto a shelf. “For a tightly wound ship full of old-ass adults, these people are fuckin' messy...”  
  
The old guy just sort of stared at the floor for a moment deep in thought. Did he ask her on a date? It was just coffee, right? He just enjoyed her company...right? She talked to him and believed him... She treated him just like any other human... He felt his old ticker thud in his chest. It was just a coffee between friends...right? Why did he feel so weird all of a sudden? They had gone out for coffee what felt like over a hundred times, so why did it feel so different when he asked this time?  
  
“So, when we leavin'?” You ask, your voice strained from lifting yet another box over your head.

You snapped him from his thoughts. “Great, I'll just need to go grab the briefcase and we can head out.” He smiled lightly then arched a brow at you as you struggled. “Do you...need help with that, Y/N?”  
  
“Nah, it's okay, I got it, just lemme get this up her--” You were now on your tiptoes trying to get the box up onto another shelf, and just before your friend could come to help you ya jumped and slapped it into place. “Fuckin' finally...” You adjusted your shirt and patted your jeans off. “Ready, Number Five?” You say with a big smile. “Because I sure am.”  
  
“Now that you say that, I've been meaning to tell you something, it not huge, but consider it a gift.” He looked unsure about something.  
  
“Ooh~ A gift from an old man in the workplace? How lewd.” You snickered as you stuck your hands in your pockets.  
  
“Y/N, can you stop being weird for two Goddamn seconds?” He scoffed and furrowed his brows at you. “I could just change my mind, ya know?”  
  
“I really can't but I'll try just for you. I'll behave. For now.” You grinned. “What's the gift old man?” A soft smile spread across your lips as you eyed him. “I'm paying attention I swear.”  
  
“Well, it's nothing physical, so ya can't touch it or anything...” His eyes drifted away again. “But it's something I only want you to have.”  
  
“I'm listening~?” You tilted your head a bit and arched a brow again. “What is it?”  
  
“I think it's about time that I tell you that you can just call me, Five...” His voice was soft and so was his expression as he looked towards you. “No more of that “Old Man”, “Old Timer”, and “Number Five” BS, just call me Five from now on, okay?...”  
  
Your brows went up and your mouth hung open just a wee bit but then your expression quickly shifted to a loving one. He was going to allow you to just call him Five like his family had when he was a boy? The small gesture warmed your heart. “Just Five it is then.” You say with a tender smile which Five mirrored back to you.  
  
  
*****************************

Five was lying in bed unable to sleep and this time it wasn't from being plagued with nightmares. After he had taken her out Y/N was all over his thoughts preventing him from sleeping. He felt he was coming to the conclusion that maybe he had feelings for her. “Shit...” He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Five actually meets someone he may have feelings for and he has the body of a literal husk. “Well, isn't this a fucking pickle... I meet a sweet girl, who for some reason may actually like me, and I look like a dried-up prune... Does she even like me though?... Nah, she's just been being nice to me... But she seems so flirty... UGH!” He rolled over to his side in frustration. Then an image of her moaning flashed through his mind shocking him from his other thoughts. “I am in literal hell!” Five sat up suddenly and rubbed his temples with knitted brows.

“All these years of being alone, then I meet a girl... Aren't I too old to be having crushes?!” He sighed loudly. “She is like half my age! What is wrong with me?! Have I lost my damn mind?!” He laid back again and stared at the ceiling in the dark. “Yup, that has to be it...I've gone insane...I've totally lost it...I've gone absolutely bonkers...I have now gone completely bat-shit, but...” He sat up again rubbing his face with both hands. “Shit... I think I love her...Fuck...” He rubbed his eyes so violently he saw stars twinkling around his vision. “Five...what in the fuck is wrong with you?...”  
  
After several moments passed in silence, Five got up and walked over to his desk as he began to hatch a plan. “This is so stupid...it just might work...” He sat down opening his notebook then immediately started scribbling down equations and notes. “If I can just figure out this one little piece... Maybe she'll give me a chance... I can't ask her out looking like this... All I have to do is figure this out, jump, then come back... Should be just that easy...”

**********************

It was NOT just that easy...

Five palmed his face after looking into his mirror as he clutched to the handle of his briefcase in hand. He can't tell if he made it better or fucking worse. “Oh, no, this so much worse...This is so much more fucking worse... How can I even face her now...? I fucked up so fucking bad... GODDAMMIT!” He yelled and then sighed. “Not only am I going to be grilled by my boss later...now I have to deal with this. Fuuuuuck...”  
  
**********************

You were chilling in your room relaxing in your chair and yawned. “Ah, finally a day off~ I wonder what the Old Fucker is up t-” Just before you could finish your thought you heard a knock at the door.

“Y/N, it's me...” That was not a voice you recognized. “Let me in. W-we need to talk... It's important...”  
  
You raised a brow before creeping to your door and looking through the peep-hole. When you looked through it you were really confused. “Um...who are you and where are your...parents??” Was it bring your kid to work day or something?  
  
“Oh, for fuck's sake...” The boy then disappeared and then reappeared in your room and was now sitting on your bed. “I said we need to tal--” He was cut off by you yelling.  
  
“HOLY FUCK! How did you--? Wait...” It took a second for your brain to register what happened as you narrowed your eyes at the boy as your brain began to connect the dots. There was only one person in the entire world that you knew could teleport like that. “ _Five??_ ” Your voice was laced with hundreds of question marks.

  
  
“Yup, the one and the same. So, uh, I fucked up,” He half smirked at you clearly annoyed about something.  
  
“What the hell happened to you?” You blinked as you slowly sat back into your chair in front of him. “Why do you look so...so....?”  
  
“I believe the word you're looking for is, _young_.” Five folded his hands together and sighed deeply. “I wanted to surprise you and I fucked a Time Jump...again... So now,” He gestured towards himself. “I look like this. Just in case you're wondering, this is what I looked like when I was thirteen...” Five buried his face in his hands. “This is a fucking nightmare...” He groaned.  
  
Five was now slightly shorter than he was before, had neatly cute coffee-colored hair with swoopy bangs, and a young face. His old gray suit did not fit him well at all.  
  
“W-well...that sucks...?” You tried to smile and half chuckled feeling sympathetic. “Fifty-eight and looking like a tween...that's fucked...”  
  
“ ** _No,_** **_ya think_** _?_ ” Five didn't look up from his hands.  
  
“I mean...you...look...good...for your age?” Now you actually chuckled trying to sound reassuring.  
  
“I'm glad you are so amused by this...” His hands dropped to rest on his knees and he kept his head hung low his bangs covering his eyes.  
  
“The fuck kind of wrinkle cream did you use, Five?” You cackled so hard your gut hurt.  
  
“Okay, now you're just being a bitch.” Five's face snapped up as he glared at you making your laughter cease.  
  
“Oh my God...” You blinked at him.  
  
“What?” His voice was laced in irritation.  
  
“You are like...you _were_...you _are_...?” You could not figure out to word what you wanted to say.  
  
“Don't hurt yourself, Y/N...” He did not look amused and arched a brow.  
  
“You look so... _cute_... **PFFT**!” You blinked at him again and a sudden laugh burst from you.  
  
“ **UGH!** ” He flopped back on your bed exasperated covering his face with his hands.  
  
“So, uh, off-topic here,” You laughed a bit. “You wanted to surprise me, Five? How so?”  
  
Five sighed again. “It had recently become apparent to me that I have feelings for you and I figured that you would not give an old guy, like me, a chance. So, I figured I'd try to Time Travel and project my consciousness into an older but younger body of mine that was closer to your age... To say it in English for you, anyway. I guess my shit was off...” Five let his arms fall onto your bed as he stared into the ceiling and sighed again. “Fuck me, Right...?”  
  
“You have feelings for me?” For some reason that was the only part of whatever-the-fuck he had just said got to you and for some reason, you felt your cheeks flush. If you decided to be honest right now you'd tell him that during the past few days you had started to kind of like him too... The thing was...you weren't exactly into old dudes, so you just stuck to harmless flirting. You did love spending time with him though...maybe at some point, you had begun to catch feelings for him too? Now you sort of felt shallow...  
  
“Yeah... I was going to try to ask you out in a younger body, not this young obviously, and I was hoping you'd say yes... That's a fucking pipe-dream that got clogged to shit.” You watched his chest slowly rise and then suddenly fall. You didn't know that eyes being rolled had a sound.  
  
You sat there deep in thought before speaking. “What if I asked you out for a cup of coffee and then we can talk about it more?”

  
Five rose a brow. “What?”  
  
“I mean it. Shit happens, right?” You tried to sound reassuring again.  
  
“I guess...?” Now his voice was laced in question marks.  
  
“Look...” Now it was your turn to fold your hands nervously. “I...I sort of started to like you too...”  
  
“Say what now?” That definitely got his attention.  
  
“I just didn't say anything because I'm, uh, not, into old guys...” You swallowed deeply feeling like a bitch as he sat up to look at you.  
  
“Again, say what now?” You weren't sure if he ever lowered his brow.  
  
“I've caught myself really digging your brain and personality but...” You tailed off and slunk down.  
  
“My wrinkles turned you off?” Five scoffed with a half-smile. “I fucking knew it.”

“Heh, along with the mustache...” You laughed lightly. “But basically yeah...and as time went on I kinda began to think like _What if_ and _Maybe_ , but... I felt the age difference was kind of weird... I've never been with an older man before, either...” You looked up at him apologetically. “But...”  
  
“But?” His expression was soft as his brows rose and his heart pounded in his chest.

_She likes me...? She actually likes me back...?_

_  
  
_“I kind of always thought you'd be really nice to me...” Your voice was quiet. “If I had thought about it and gave you a chance...”  
  
“You'd be correct about that.” He tried to sound confident to hide his nervousness.  
  
“So, I think...at this point...” You trailed off.  
  
“You think...?” Five gulped.  
  
“Rejecting you based on your appearance is sort of...”  
  
“ _Sort of--?_ ” He leaned forward in anticipation for some reason feeling hopeful.  
  
“Fucked up, judgmental, and wrong.” You looked up at him with nervous eyes and a soft smile. “Ya know what? Fuck it. You're still Five, right? So, coffee?” You grinned. “I know this cute little cafe a really nice guy took me once.” You chuckle lightly and extended a hand to him as you got to your feet. “I think we had our first date there.”

Five could not believe what he was hearing, after all that, she still accepts him and wants to go on a date with him? Just like that? Was she a saint or something? She had to be... He could not wrap his head around it as he was in complete awestruck and bewilderment while his heart rattled his ribcage.

_I can't fucking believe it...she still... likes me...after I did this to myself...? Oh, Y/N... You're an absolute Angel..._

  
He stared at your face for sometime blinking, trying to see if you were joking or not, and when he realized you weren't he finally took your hand and a grin spread across his face as he stood up, now feeling a bit like himself again regardless of his current form. “ _Oh, really~?_ Tell me more about this guy that showed you that nice little cafe.” Five said in a smug sarcastic tone with a smirk.  
  
“Well, to be frank, he was kind of an ass, and sort of Old-As-Shite.” You snorted releasing his hand.  
  
Five deadpanned and rolled his eyes but he couldn't help but grin. “Again, you are kind of a bitch, Y/N.”  
  
“I try.” You smile and ruffled his hair just to be a bit of a dick.  
  
“Hey! Don't do that!” He snapped and tried to frantically fix his hair without a mirror. “I'm still fifty-eight years old, you know that right?” Five huffed irritably. "Show me some respect, will ya?"  
  
“As if I could forget, Old Man~.” You kissed his cheek causing him to freeze in his tracks as you left your room.  
  
After you were out of sight all he could do was stand there and smile. Maybe things were turning up for him after all.

A split second passed as a sudden thought went through Five's mind making his brows scrunch together and pinch the bridge of his nose with an irritated sigh as he shut his eyes tight. “Why, didn't my dumbass just ask for a fucking body replacement...?” He said to himself as he followed you out the door.  
  
As they always say: _Hindsight is always 2020_.

**Author's Note:**

> (( Leave a comment and let me know what ya think. :) That's my favorite part about writing all this stuff. <3 I'm always curious about what my stories make ya think.


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